Tag Archives: Suri

Diversity Training with Drewpreme: The Advice Column

16 Apr
Here for you

Here for you

Okay people, stop being so jealous of the post-racial, divinely platonic, earth-shatteringly cool relationship Drew and I have. I’m sorry your friends suck so much. Anyway, this week, Drew has agreed to answer all of YOUR diverse questions, to “spread the wealth” so to speak. Just like Obama!!!! Here we go, Drewpreme. A thousand apologies in advance…

Drew,
Um, is it appropriate to have Suri Cruise’s haircut at 26? Is that desirable?
Thanks,
Mazall

Drew: I’m gonna have to say the Nay-No on that one, unless you particularly like imitating the visages of a soulless anti-Christ. I’m convinced that she has no soul, is the first successful cloned human (that was revealed to the public), and that dastardly mop of hers just hides the Scientology logo that’s branded into her skull à la Damian in “The Omen” (1976). In fact she resembles the little hell spawn… So please abstain from all things Suri Cruise. I even regret being photoshopped over her on the Vanity Fair cover…

tomkitten

tomkitten

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