Tag Archives: Molly the dog

Notes From the Dogwalker pt. 2

16 Jun

Mazall and the Mollies (this could be a band name)

So you may be wondering where our “Notes from the Dogwalker” series went. Or you may not. Let’s be honest, the series was ill-conceived and poorly executed. This is a free blog, what do you expect? Jeez.

Well, the reason the series has been discontinued is that I fired my dogwalker a few weeks ago. It appears that he wasn’t actually walking my dog, he was just pretending to walk my dog and then taking my hard-earned money. (Those Keanu articles aren’t going to write themselves!)  Instead, I’ve been coming home early to walk Aggy*.  On Tuesdays when I work late to close the magazine fly the Death Star, Molly acts as defacto dogwalker. (Mazall will do it too, but begrudgingly; she only likes adorable, needy things if they’re human.)

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All By Myself (I Want to Be)

11 May

Molly and Mazall are out of town, which means that for 36 hours I have the apartment to myself. Solitude is a rare treat in New York—there are people with you on the subway, people with you on the sidewalk, people with you in a cab (the cab driver!), people with you at work, people with you at restaurants, people with you at bars, people waiting in line before you in restrooms, and when you come home at night there are people waiting for you with complaints about boys and requests for a manicure.  One of these people is probably wearing stretch pants.

So when you find yourself alone, you really have to take advantage of it. I only have 36 hours to myself and so far most of those hours have been taken up by sleep and/or work.  But I’m using the few remaining hours to their fullest.  Here are some things I’ve been doing, re-inacted by the dog, Aggy*

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All by myself (don’t wanna be)

19 Jul

Molly is birthday-ing in Georgia, which leaves me to man the blog all by myself for an entire week.  What should I write about?

Here are some options:

'Willis' my ass

'Willis' my ass

1. Why Bruno wasn’t funny
2. I could have sworn Walter Cronkite was already dead
3. Central Park exercise etiquette, or: why weekend cyclists are total dickslaps
4. If my 3-day-old Chinese food is still edible
5. If I should be amused or horrified by the fact that astronauts left discarded food containers on the moon.
6. The startling accuracy of the tagline to Lindsay Lohan’s made-of-TV movie, Labor Pains
7. Why I’m pretty sure that this is Marc’s fault
8. I keep wanting to write about polio so that I can tag every post “polio” and make this the most popular polio-related blog on the Internet, but Molly won’t let me
9. The Willis Tower
10. My dog runs away from her own poop