Tag Archives: Kanye West

When Three Become Two

6 Aug

Why would you write "Moving Day" on a box?

Molly is moving out. She’s obtained access to a completely furnished luxury apartment on the Upper East Side and has decided to go live there for free. Personally, I don’t know why you’d want to live in a Park Avenue building with a doorman rent free when you can pay thousands of dollars a year to live in Harlem with two roommates and a dog, especially when said apartment sometimes doesn’t have any gas for months. To each her own, I guess.

This means that Mazall and I need to find a replacement roommate. But living with someone is a big decision. Are they friendly? Do they keep the apartment clean? Will they murder you in your sleep? Maz and I have been reaching out to friends and coworkers to see if they know anyone who needs a place to stay, but we may have to (gulp) seek a stranger on Craigslist. To facilitate the process, I have come up with a list of qualities that our new roommate should possess:

Clean

Friendly

Organized

Likes dogs

Is funny

Is pretty

But not so pretty that we feel ugly

Likes Anchorman

Owns Mad Men on DVD

Can teach me how to do the Single Ladies dance

Either has really nice furniture that’s better than ours so we can upgrade OR

Has no furniture so we don’t have to make room for anything tacky

Is currently or has been a professional chef

Also a make-up artist

And masseuse

Owns a yacht

Owns one of those miniature horses that are the size of dogs

(The miniature horse cannot be named Molly)

Belongs to a Wine of the Month club

Has a large wardrobe of stylish clothes that fit me (preferably designer)

Has free airline tickets to Paris and no one to use them

Is friends with Kanye

Optional:

Is of an interesting religion or ethnicity so that we can sound cool when we say things like “Oh, my roommate the Zoroastrian?”

Is Banksy

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LET US BE GREAT!

6 Aug

So, Facebook has this “feature” that, apparently, I’m the last to discover.  When you’re stalking someone on someone’s page, you can click a link and get taken to an e-summary of your relationship.  This summary is based solely on Facebook activity between the two of you.

According to Mr. Zuckerberg, Claire and I have been friends since August of 2007, although I didn’t like her until May 2008.  I know this because I still have the ballot from when we voted on it (inside joke!).

Regardless, you can tell a lot about us from this little page.  Continue reading

Wherein Claire and Molly Predict 2010’s Song of the Summer

13 Jun

Every summer has a song.  It’s the one you pretend to hate but then immediately start dancing to if you hear it at the Gap.  The one that is stuck in your head for days and you don’t really mind…until about mid-July.  You know, the one Drew won’t let you play on repeat at the park (well, not until he’s had at least 80 ounces of Olde English).  So, Claire and I sat down last night and went through the contenders.  If you’re hoping I’ll just tell you what it’s going to be without taking you through the whole listening/music-video-watching/sangria-drinking process, you sooo don’t know this blog.  Let’s get started. Continue reading

Amazing and Incredible Halloween Costume Ideas

13 Oct
WOW!  That's EXACTLY what Snow White looked like!!!!!

WOW! That's EXACTLY what Snow White looked like!!!!!

This is my version of philanthropy. Also, I’d like people to just come to the party and stop asking me for costume ideas. As always, leave your own suggestions below.

FOR FEMALES:

  1. Frida Kahlo
  2. The Fandago “Woman”
  3. Mona Lisa
  4. Anna Wintour
  5. Julia Child
  6. Octo-Mom Continue reading