This Week in Janice: Drinking Tips and the Stock Market

13 Aug

the market doesn't feel well

Subj: stock market has “Tha Vapors”

Oh, I had a day like this in college—having the Vapors, I dropped like a stone and was unconscious, just like the Market today. In my case, it was internal bleeding, and the case could be made that that is what is wrong with us today—internal bleeding for the US Economy.

‘Cept the Market, unlike moi, is populated by a bunch of “Multinationals,” so I am gonna agree with Rick Santelli, who I just heard on the radio. You know, the youngish Chicago trader who threw a hissy fit that got recorded and started the Tea Party Movement. (He’s Famous enough to get himself in Wikipeia. Atta boy, Chicago boy!!!)  Well, on the radio today he said “It is 2008 in Europe today.” Which I thought was really cute. Remember 2008 here, when we all thought the economic world as we knew it was going to end? Europe’s politicos just tried to bail out Greece with a paltry amount of cash, and the Market is afraid that it’s not gonna work. Especially  with Spain and Italy which are definitely “too big to fail.”  There just ain’t enuf Euros to bail those 2 out if they turn turtle too. So you can sleep well tonight. Like in 1914 and 1939, it’s not Our Fault, it’s just those darn Europeans…

Subj: movie review by Mom

Just watched the movie “Greenberg” starring Ben Stiller. Hated it, hated the self-absorbed yet unsuccessful neurotic title character. Was not “moved” by his “Predicament,” was only mved me to want to turn movie off 1/2 way thru. Actors were thrilled to do a “Character” piece—well, goody for them! And city of L.A. was an “actor” in the film—yeah, sure it was. Take care, Love, MOM

Subj: Story idea

Why don’t you write a 1 pager with photos about the Special Forces Dog that died on the Chinook helicopter that “crashed” in Afghanistan-someone else is probably doing a writeup about the men/women who dies without names/identities, but maybe military would release info on dog??? It would be a Dog Hero story-like Lassie/Rintintin. TCLove, MOM

Subj: Drinking Tips

Just read definitive article about VODKA. Article quotes a great “master Mixologist” who says that it is “the chicken breast of cocktails.”

Types of vodka to try:

Devotion Vodka: “contains a protein called casein, which contributes to a better “mouth feel.”  It is a fav of Jersey Shore guido Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino So NYC ought to have it around.

Or you should order Skyy:  it is sweet, citrusy, only a slight burn” The author liked it best.

Stoli: always a winner. Russian like it should be.

Do not order “Ketel One” or Dan Aykroyd’s “Crystal Head” (which just got Double Gold award in San Francisco). Also “Absolut” and “Grey Goose” are examples of super marketing. Swedish and French respectfully. Overly pricy.

As a flag waving American, order Smirnoff first because the vodka is distilled  here.

There are ” about 1,000 different brands of vodka in existence. A fancy bar may carry 13 or so, the article says.

In NYC, you probably can NOT get the artisan distilled “Koval”-it is from Andersonville/Ravenswood area of Chicago, made by a married couple, with kids, 400 cases a yr made.$39.00 price per bottle.

“Svedka” is super cheap at $16.00. Do not ask for it by name or you’ll look silly. It may be what you get in a no name bar that only has 1 vodka.

If you want to be really cool:
Order “The Moscow Mule” – mixed drink invented in L.A. in 1946: vodka, ginger beer and Lime.  Popular in the early 1950’s. I never heard of it, but Memphis was dry back then and the adults brown bagged Bourbon to restaurants. Jack Daniels was made just a day’s mule ride away in Tennessee. (This drink sounds gross. Maybe boytoy likes Ginger Beer?)

By the way, a martini should always be stirred- James Bond was an A**

Reason: It’s watery when shaken cause the ice melts (Mom says: Of course, the Brits used to not have ice. A Warm Martini-yum!!) And it should be made with Gin, not vodka (MOM: like it used to be when I was a kid. Gin was thought to help protect Brits from Malaria.)

This is all from Jason Wilson, the Wash. Post’s drinks writer, who prob. learned it from his Momma.

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2 Responses to “This Week in Janice: Drinking Tips and the Stock Market”

  1. Molly August 13, 2011 at 12:43 pm #

    Should I break it to Janice that it’s fairly easy to get in Wikipedia?

  2. Molly August 13, 2011 at 12:45 pm #

    What does the “chicken breast of cocktails” even MEAN?

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