This Week in Janice: The International Edition

21 Dec

Guten tag, dear blog readers—oh wait. We have no blog readers anymore. Molly and I haven’t blogged on this Internet weblogging contraption for months. That’s because she works all the time (those morning television segments aren’t going to write themselves, you know) and I’m lazy. But all of that will change now that I’m on vacation with Janice. We’re in Vienna. It’s cold and beautiful and full of signs I can’t read and words I can’t pronounce.

Wien ist im Winter kalt

Janice and I have only been here for one day. We spent much of that day sleeping off our jetlag, so we haven’t done much yet. We looked at a butterfly garden (indoors), went to a Christmas market (outdoors), and drank punsch (also outdoors). Some strange young man on the street took my picture. Also, everyone assumes I speak German. Janice says it’s cause I look worldly, but I think it’s because I’m pale.

Traveling with Janice

In the New York City taxi, on the way to the airport
Janice: I’m going to have a patdown when I get to the airport. I had a patdown in Chicago and it was fine. She didn’t even touch anything interesting.

Cab driver: (laughing) you say the most interesting things…

Janice: It’s true! When I go to the doctor to get a checkup I get a much better pat down. This was almost disappointing.

 

At the airport, after it takes us two hours to get through the security line, only to have them threaten to take my mom’s carry-on suitcase away because it’s too big and doesn’t fit on the airplane
Janice: That’s okay, I have a plan. I’ll just tell them I’m a little old lady and I need my bag because it contains all my medication.
Claire: I don’t think they care about that. If it doesn’t fit on the plane, it doesn’t fit.
Janice: Ah. Then I move into Phase 2 and tell them I’m a crazy old lady who loves nothing more than hiring lawyers.

In Vienna, while traveling from the airport to the hotel

Claire: How do you say ‘Thank You’ in German?
Janice: Uh…..Gracias?

While discussing our opinion on Austrian food

Claire: Those chocolates are pretty but I don’t like mazipan so I probably wouldn’t eat them.
Janice: Really? I assumed you’d like marzipan. You like beets.
Claire: That doesn’t make any sense.
Janice: Grandma liked beets and she also liked marzipan, so I assumed you just liked the same foods she liked.
Claire: ….that still doesn’t—eh, nevermind.

At dinner at a fancy sushi restaurant. Why eat sushi in Austria, you ask? Because the restaurant is on the top floor of a building that looks out onto this

God lives in a fancy house

Basically, we went for the view. Also, the food was delicious and all of the other people there were locals.
Claire: (ordering) I’ll have the 6 piece sashimi…
Janice: You know raw fish can have worms in them, don’t you?

 

Anndd…that’s it. Jetlag is back so I’m going to end this and sleep for hours.

 

 

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One Response to “This Week in Janice: The International Edition”

  1. Cara December 22, 2010 at 3:18 am #

    Ah, Stephansdom! Best New Year’s Eve ever was in front of that very church. Tons of drunken strangers dancing and holding hands and setting off fireworks and me butchering the German language to say Frohes Neues Jahr! to everyone.

    Also, what’s the end of the carry-on story? Did she go to Phase 2??

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