Choose Your Own Underage Adventure

7 Sep

Marc is the one in the bunny ears

THE FACTS

Marc: so I just got two texts. The first one says, “Hey this is Hope cme 2 my house dnt txt back.” The second one arrives minutes later. It says “Meet me at the high skool dnt txt back im on my way 2 the skool”

Claire: do you know who Hope is?

Marc: I don’t know this person or number

What is going on, dear blog readers? Who is texting Marc?

Scenario 1

Marc gave out his number on Sunday night and doesn’t remember it. “A distinct possibility” he says.

Claire: to a high schooler?

Marc: I was very drunk.

Scenario 2

When we were in college, Marc worked at a summer camp and had a gaggle of 13-year-olds who were in love with him.  Maybe one of these 13-year-olds has grown up to become a 17-year-old slut.

Marc: that’s legal in this state! hot diggity!

Scenario 3

It’s a wrong number and Marc doesn’t even know this slutty Hope.

Marc: I think Hope is a whore and has to many numbers to keep them straight

WHAT DO YOU DO?

Marc: I’m having an inner debate about texting back. I can say nothing. I can say, “You have the wrong number.” I can ask, “Who is this?” I can tell her to meet me someplace completely different just to mess with her

Claire: you should drive around various high schools looking for Hope

Marc: so you WANT me to get arrested? is that it?

Claire: text back “Hope who?” Maybe she’ll get offended and reply back, yelling at you cause you don’t even remember the name of yo baby mama

Marc: yes.  this is the play

Stay tuned for breaking news on this subject….

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6 Responses to “Choose Your Own Underage Adventure”

  1. Erin September 7, 2010 at 11:05 pm #

    this.is.awesome.

    ps- i thought this was supposed to be “breaking”… what ha happened?

  2. Claire September 7, 2010 at 11:20 pm #

    Marc has provided no updates

  3. Marc September 7, 2010 at 11:24 pm #

    I never got any more texts! Either our pal wised up and realized she had the wrong number, or my disobedience regarding texting back got her grounded.

    Personally, I’m extremely disappointed. Such an anti-climactic ending for something that could have ended in so many great/awful ways.

  4. Daniel September 8, 2010 at 12:01 am #

    I have a similar story, except it was a phone call…

    Sitting at my computer on a Friday night (what else would I be doing?) and get a call from some number:
    me: “Hello?”
    her: Heeeyyy! What’s up?”
    me: (who is this? sounds like Holly?… whatever) “Not much, what’s up?”
    her: “Howw aaare youu??”
    me: “Great! What’s up?”
    her: “You coming out?”
    me: “Where are you?” (Holly doesn’t live here anymore… she must be really drunk)
    her: “I’m at asdfafsdasdf.” (unintelligible)
    me: “Uh, sorry… WHO is this?”
    her: “If you don’t know who this is, you’re not going to get what I have planned for you!”
    me: (!) “Uhhh, I DEFINITELY don’t know who this is.”
    [like this for several rounds]
    her: “But!”
    her: (looks at her phone, presumably)
    her: “Daniel Hoo—!” (click)

    I still have no idea who it was.

    Good luck with your high-school romance, Marc!

    • Claire September 8, 2010 at 12:55 am #

      Who was the person who met someone in a bar and programmed the stranger’s phone number into their phone under the name “fpfoggreeefve” or something? Cara, was that you?

  5. Cara September 8, 2010 at 3:58 am #

    Yes, that was me. His name, according to my phone is “CdmMtpmtp0” with the capital letters as written. Phones are hard to type on when you’re drunk…

    Also, Marc could definitely have given his phone number to a high schooler while out. Remember his horrible guesses at the hostess’s age at the Florida restaurant?

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