1-800-Bill-Murray

29 Jul

So GQ recently ran this amazing Q&A with Bill Murray.  It’s incredible for a number of reasons—length, style, journalist-celebrity repartee, the fact that he mentions lying on a marble floor in Venice—but what’s most incredible is that fact that it happened at all. Bill Murray doesn’t talk to journalists. Or anyone, really.  He’s kind of weird.  If you’ve ever seen the movies Broken Flowers or What About Bob, this won’t surprise you at all.

But what we didn’t know until now is that he has a 1-800 number that you can call and leave messages asking him to do things. Things like…agree to be interviewed for a GQ article.  Or if you’re me and Marc: hang out with us.

You see, Marc will be here in October and while I’ve already “met” Bill Murray (read: I saw him in the street and made eye contact but nothing) he has not. So we’re going to call his 1-800 number and ask him to do something fun.

We don’t have his 1-800 number and we don’t know what we want to do with him. Whatever we decide, we’re not sure how to convince him to do it. We have one fact on our side (Bill Murray and I grew up in the same town) but other than that, we have no way to convince him, via 1-800 number, that we are more awesome than anyone he will ever meet. (Even though we are.) But we will triumph. Oh, how we will triumph.  Unless of course we fail.

Claire: ok, what do we want to ask Bill Murray to do with us?

Marc: eat pie

Claire: eat pie?

Marc: are you saying you DON’T want to have pie with Bill Murray?

Claire: what kind of pie?

Claire: maybe he’d do the pie v. cake taste test with us!

Marc: yes. a thousand times yes.

Marc: HE CAN GO TO THE BEARS GAME WITH US  (Editor’s note: We’re going to a Bears game)

Marc: we should do the “guess who” game with him

but instead of him doing it, it’s us

and we’re not Bill Murray

I don’t really know how he’s involved in that. let’s just do that anyways.

Marc: I want to ride the subway with Bill Murray and just chat about things

Claire: we should ask him to go on a ghost tour with us and then he can… fold his arms and appear unimpressed

Marc: can we hunt gophers with Bill Murray?

Marc: can we go running in the park with Bill Murray?

Marc: can we crank call Mel Gibson with Bill Murray?

Claire: Can we seek therapy for psychological problems related to depression with Bill Murray?

Marc: I read a few years ago that Bill just goes to apartment parties in New York at random and crashes them

so you need to find his 800 number and leave him a message

to come to a party that you guys throw

Claire: ooooh man

Marc: this may be the best idea we’ve EVER had

Claire: we just have to find the number

Marc: baby steps.

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6 Responses to “1-800-Bill-Murray”

  1. Marc July 29, 2010 at 11:54 pm #

    It should be noted that I already tried calling 1-800-STR-IPES, but that was the number for Fox Valley Systems.

  2. molly July 30, 2010 at 2:00 am #

    EDITOR’S NOTE: YOU *MIGHT* BE GOING TO A BEARS GAME

    • Marc July 30, 2010 at 2:58 am #

      I do not approve of this note.

  3. Claire July 30, 2010 at 3:09 pm #

    I need to rewatch Royal Tenenbaums ASAP.

  4. Drewpreme August 2, 2010 at 6:17 pm #

    My one of my favorite Bill Murray scenes. “Are you a bug Bill Murray?”

    • Drewpreme August 2, 2010 at 6:23 pm #

      Sorry for the double video post. Blogmaster please correct.

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