My Day as a Cubs Fan

20 Apr

Come on, Wells!

Yesterday, I spent four hours in a state-of-the-art trash dump watching the Mets.  Obviously, I had to root for the away team , which is why I now know What It’s Like to Be a Cubs Fan.

What It’s Like to Be a Cubs Fan:

It’s really, really painful.  You are dressed in bright blue, but so are your rival fans.  Except they are laughing and cheering and standing up and clapping every now and then, and you are trying to hide your face from the world but you can’t because the stadium lights are so bright and the air is so crisp and your team is just. so. bad.

It’s like all the world’s horrors, all its suffering and injustice, every single crime that one man has committed against another, all these things are swirling together in a storm cloud that then separates itself into 9 smaller storm clouds, and those clouds seek out the Cubs’s starting lineup and hover right over their heads.  Forever.

It’s like everything good that happens is not happening to you.

It’s the worst feeling in the world.

I’m so sorry Claire.  I’m so, so sorry.

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10 Responses to “My Day as a Cubs Fan”

  1. Claire April 20, 2010 at 4:15 pm #

    When you’re a Cubs fan, every day feels like you’ve just been dumped. Or your dog ran away. Or you missed the train and are late to work. Or you locked yourself out of your apartment and you’re standing in the hallway in your underwear. Or you’re picked last for kickball. Or you just got mugged by the Mets.

    • Molly April 20, 2010 at 4:38 pm #

      I first read that as you just got mugged by Mr. Met. Which is so much better/scarier.

  2. Marc April 20, 2010 at 4:30 pm #

    *points and laughs*

    • Claire April 21, 2010 at 1:58 am #

      but Marc, you root for VANDY. it’s basically the same feeling

      • Marc April 21, 2010 at 8:22 pm #

        No way. The Cubs spend money and have a great stadium and lots of fans. People care about what they do.

        Rooting for Vandy is more like rooting for the Royals. You’re in the tougher conference, no one wants to play for you and no one cares about anything you do.

      • Claire April 21, 2010 at 10:59 pm #

        Who are the Royals?

      • Cara April 21, 2010 at 11:07 pm #

        Yay Royals! (Gotta throw the hometown pride in there – even if they suck. At least they’ve won a world series in the last 30 years…)

      • Marc April 22, 2010 at 4:23 pm #

        EXACTLY my point Claire.

  3. Cara April 21, 2010 at 7:19 am #

    Weren’t the Cubs almost good last year? Or was that the year before?

    • Marc April 21, 2010 at 8:23 pm #

      That was the year before. The CARDINALS were good last year!

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