Come and Keep Your Comrade Warm!

5 Nov

Boris--Natasha-outlineI love Russia. I’ve never taken a Russian history class and I can’t say anything more than “babushka” and “borscht,” but I have a deep, abiding love for the bleak expanse of depression and concrete known as the former Soviet Union. I root for Russia during the Olympics. My iPod’s name is Vladimir. A few years ago, I read a biography of Peter the Great and right now I’m reading a book about the Trans-Siberian railway. I prefer vodka to other liquors. I briefly considered naming my dog Trotsky* and I own a “Communist Party” t-shirt (which I no longer wear due to an unfortunate encounter with an overheated clothes dryer). When I was nine, I wrote a short novella about a Russian orphan who travels to America to become an Olympic gymnast and adopts a box full of kittens along the way. Oh, and when I first moved to New York I spent an excessive amount of time hanging out in Brighton Beach.

My lifelong infatuation with Russia is well known among my friends and coworkers but somehow, for some reason, Molly did not know about it. A few weeks ago, we were at a friend-of-a-friend’s birthday party when the following exchange occurred:

Par2279505

Me: Sigh. I love Russia.
Molly: What? But I love Russia!

Me: Really?! OMG, I LOVE IT SO MUCH

Molly: It’s so depressing!
Me: And troubled!
Molly: And the sun never shines!
Me: And everyone there drinks vodka!
Molly: Can we go to Russia?
Me: OK!!

So it’s official. We’re going to Russia just as soon as we save up the $150 needed for a visa and the $1,000 or so needed for plane tickets and the $500 needed for hotel costs and the $300 for food and the $700 to pay off the corrupt politicians who try to poison us once they find out we’re journalists and…

Eh, whatever. We’re still going to Russia. We don’t know when, we don’t know how, we don’t know why. But we have to go. We even have guidebooks.

*Good thing I didn’t. I know way too many Trotskies, it would have been confusing

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17 Responses to “Come and Keep Your Comrade Warm!”

  1. Molly November 5, 2009 at 11:46 pm #

    RUSSIA!

    Sometimes, I call our Moscow bureau just to hear them say “pryvet”. Then I hang up. They can help us if we get kidnapped because I’m pretty sure we’ll have to pony up more than $700 bucks.

    Also, Russian literature is by far the best literature. I will fight someone on this, and the only way I will lose is if they bring up American Literature circa WW1. Which is BASICALLY Russian in theme, if you think about it.

    • Claire November 6, 2009 at 1:09 am #

      you only said that cause you know I love to lament the horrors of the trenches

      • Molly November 6, 2009 at 3:32 am #

        you are sooooo expat

  2. Molly November 5, 2009 at 11:49 pm #

    Also, sometimes the sun ONLY shines. White Nights. We are going to go to there as well.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/White_Nights

  3. Drewpreme November 6, 2009 at 1:57 pm #

    I’m shook of chicks from Mother Russia. They’re super conniving…

  4. Kyle November 6, 2009 at 3:17 pm #

    I work with a guy named Igor Kozlovski…seriously. Suck on that!

    • Molly November 6, 2009 at 3:54 pm #

      does he have a summer house in Moscow?

      • Kyle November 6, 2009 at 4:59 pm #

        Moscow’s for pansies. He hails from St. Petersburg.

  5. Drewpreme November 6, 2009 at 6:50 pm #

    LOL @ Rondell. Russia is gully as a mickeyfickey. I also fox with Russia because their most celebrated creative genius Alexander Pushkin, got a black granddaddy.

    • Claire November 6, 2009 at 6:53 pm #

      Sometimes I wonder if you just make up slang terms and see if we roll with them because we’re too white to know the difference

      • Drewpreme November 7, 2009 at 4:10 am #

        That’s all confirmed slang Claire!!!

  6. Claire November 6, 2009 at 6:51 pm #

    We’re open to St. Petersburg

    • Molly November 6, 2009 at 6:54 pm #

      Also, Siberia.

      • Marc November 6, 2009 at 7:49 pm #

        No love for Vladivostok or Smolensk??

  7. Claire November 7, 2009 at 5:18 am #

    Even “Mickeyfickey” ??

    • Drewpreme November 9, 2009 at 12:16 am #

      Yep. It gained momentum as the dubbed over alternative to the OG “MF” and is used when their are kids and parents around.

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. We Have Russias! « Claire & Molly’s World Wide Weblog - May 20, 2010

    […] My love affair goes all the way back to my early childhood, when my father used to convince me to do things by calling me a communist “Only communists stay up past their bedtime,” he would say. “Only communists refuse to eat their vegetables.” Instead of turning me from communism, his mind games made me wish to become a  Soviet. […]

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