This Week in Janice: EMERGENCY BLOG

13 Oct

It’s 10:45 pm on a Monday night. I have just finished watching the first two episodes of Lost season 2. I sign online to check my email and find that I have received a note from Janice:

$$$ Beef

$$$ Beef

Subj: Just a reminder

In Chicago, it is very popular to order a “cherry lime rickey” at bars — in honor of homeboy BILL KURTIS —in AT&T?? commercial. He came to Sunset a while back to promote his beef and I forgot to go. Buy his $$$ beef a good bit though. Take care, Love, MOM (originally it was a gin rickey, I think.)

Okay, so here’s the problem.  Normally I know what my mom is talking about (she’s my mom, y’know? We have a lot in common). But this? I have no idea what this email means. I have never heard of a cherry lime rickey. I don’t know who Bill Kurtis is, nor why he is selling beef.  Sunset is the name of the grocery store in my hometown, but that’s the only thing I understand.  What does “Buy his $$$ beef” mean?  Buy his money beef?  His beef is expensive? Why is there a cherry flavored drink named after a man who sells expensive meat products? So many questions.

This email comes on the heels of one she sent yesterday:

Subj: more about skunks (note from Claire:  she had not emailed me about skunks before this)

Skunks are members of the Weasel Family and only hibernate for about a month in the coldest part of the winter.(February here??) Solitary except for that month:Have sex at end of Feb.Babies running around by May.(That was quick!) Burrow holes or live in downed tree limbs.or under house foundations. Can climb but don’t like to.Eat chickens, baby bunnies, mice and rats. (Birdfeeders attract “predator skunks” as well as hawks!) But, mostly eat grubs/insects.They stamp their feet and raise their tails before firing off their spray: Move back slowly- quick action just pisses them off. Pretty much afraid of nothing.
Great- now I am going to have to protect Tedster from skunks all winter long, pretty much! Neighbors seem to think dogs getting into it with skunks just a North Shore fact of life.Guess I have just been lucky until now. TC Love, MOM

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5 Responses to “This Week in Janice: EMERGENCY BLOG”

  1. molly October 13, 2009 at 3:06 am #

    That was quick!

  2. Claire October 13, 2009 at 1:40 pm #

    babies running around by may

  3. Molly October 13, 2009 at 2:15 pm #

    Um, Janice buried the lede:

    [Kurtis’s] 10,000-acre (40 km) ranch in southeastern Kansas was once the home of Laura Ingalls Wilder.

  4. Marc October 13, 2009 at 9:13 pm #

    Are you not at all concerned that your mother is interested in some strange guy’s beef?

    • Claire October 14, 2009 at 1:49 am #

      why are you interested in whether my mom is into a guy’s beef?

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