Friendship with Marc and Claire

31 Jul

he's single, ladies

he's single, ladies

Claire: i think that if you, me and ryan lived together we would never leave the house
Marc: that’s a sitcom. or it should be
Claire: ryan would leave the house to bang random men
but he’d be back within 30 minutes
Marc: I would leave the house to drink
but I’d be back within several days
Claire: “where’s marc?” “on a bender” “is it tuesday already?”
Marc: “where’s marc?” “at work” “so he’s on a bender?”
Claire: “where’s marc?” “he’s in the shower” “oh, so he’s drinking?”
Marc: but I’m putting a TV in the shower
and probably a chair, or ledge
and I’d like to involve a mini fridge in this
Kramer had the right idea, to just live in the shower
his problem was that he was making food in the shower
and that’s disgusting, even for my bizarre tastes
Claire: no food just drinking
Marc: i’m trying to picture what state I’d have to be in to drink in the shower
I mean if I’m not living there, what’s going on?
Whole family killed in a boating accident?
Job loss?
Killed a man?
Claire: i would drink in the shower at a party that took place in the shower
Marc: That’s called an orgy Claire
Claire: or an extremely poorly planned AA meeting
“sure, you can drink! drink all you want….IN THE SHOWER.”
“oh, you’re still going to do it? damn.”
Marc: we should go into comedy
I’m pretty sure we’ve penned an entire episode of SNL in this one conversation
Claire: also a really cheap ass swimming lesson
it’s not even a bathtub shower, it’s a shower stall
and you plug up the drain with a towel and then fill it up
but when you open the door to step in, your pool leaks
so you have to put the kid in first
and then fill the shower
but then the kid drowns
Marc: I’m picturing one of those carnival booths
except when you hit the target and the kid drops in
there is no way out
Claire: and the kid drowns

Claire: tomorrow i think you should do something creepy to someone for my own long distance amusement
try to hold hands with a stranger
Marc: done.


3 Responses to “Friendship with Marc and Claire”

  1. Ryan July 31, 2009 at 1:47 pm #

    Congratulations, you did a google image search for my name and that’s the only picture that comes up…thank you Jacob Grier!

    So when are the three of us moving into this child-drowning, alcoholic shower, gay sex dungeon? As long as it has AC, I’m in 🙂

    And PS: I would be a far better lover than 30 minutes…let’s get real here.

    • Claire July 31, 2009 at 11:16 pm #

      It will have AC! Umm…can it be on the beach? I want a beach.

  2. Molly July 31, 2009 at 3:06 pm #

    None of you are allowed to have children

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