Videos the Internets must have spawned (because no one could possibly have taken the time to make them)

5 Jun

HostileSpawnLike most great journalism, this post was inspired by Felicity. Marc, due to some tragic sedimentary incident, didn’t know what Felicity was (Claire: What? Was he hiding under a rock during the 90’s?!).

Marc: I don’t even know what that show is or if it’s really a show
Me: sigh.  Kerri Russell?  Curly Fro?
Marc: awkward silence

So, I quickly googled and sent a YouTube video of the theme song to revive whatever sacred part of his God-forsaken brain had collapsed, depriving him of J.J. Abrams’s Magnum Opus. Then I realized something was amiss….

This wasn’t the theme song. This was a compilation of EVERY FELICITY THEME SONG IN EXISTENCE. Someone actually made this. And then posted it to YouTube. And then watched their video 80,000 times. Or maybe not.

Maybe the Internets did it….

It’s quite simple, really. Too many videos like this exist: intricate compilations, remixes, saber fights, and clip reels that are so lame that to admit a human being actually spent time/energy/bandwidth on them also means admitting defeat for our generation and possibly our race. So the Internets must just generate them from thin cyber-air. Plop. Brooks and done. Yes Evan, just like how Athena spawned fully-formed from the head of Zeus.

Otherwise, how do you explain the following:

1. THE BEST MOVIE CAR CHASE TRIBUTE (a car chase made of clips from at least 75 different movies)

2. THIS IS SPARTA! TECHNO MUSIC MIX! (First of all, easy on the CAPS people. Secondly, HUH?)

3. Home Improvement Wilson’s Funny Jokes. (Watch out. The dissolves and fades on this are super hi-tech. Though Marc is correct. They need more Star Wipes)

4. Barack Roll (obvi)

5. The Picard Song (best.spawn.ever.)

6. Giant White Glove (Apparently, the Internets were commissioned to isolate MJ’s white glove in every single one of the 10,060 frames of this Billy Jean performance. NERDS. But amazing, nonetheless.)

And finally, sigh, there is Dorkman. I can’t really emphasize what the following means to me. Evan predicted it would explode my mindbrain. He was right. I understand that it is 9 minutes long, with credits that seem longer, but I just really need all of you to watch this. Especially if you can make it to minute four. You might say, “But Molly, how does this fit in? This is just two dorks fighting it out with light sabers.” And that’s why we have included the “How To” video (also spawned). Because I’m not sure any of us (who aren’t Evan) realize how much time and effort goes into creating those light sabers, frame by frame, with sound effects, FOR NINE MINUTES. Oh yeah, and for free.


How To: Lightsaber Effect Video Tutorial

just do it


14 Responses to “Videos the Internets must have spawned (because no one could possibly have taken the time to make them)”

  1. Sookie June 5, 2009 at 5:36 pm #

    I treat Felicity like Karate Kid 3…it never happened. Otherwise the steady build up of JJ Abrams work that has lead to me blindly being behind any movie hes involved in would all be a sham…

  2. mazall June 5, 2009 at 5:41 pm #

    @ molly: and you made fun of me for watching Gonzo, the documentary about Hunter S. Thompson?? REALLY?

    • Molly June 5, 2009 at 5:44 pm #

      Sigh. And touché.

      • mazall June 5, 2009 at 6:08 pm #

        yes i win!

  3. Drewpreme June 5, 2009 at 6:04 pm #

    Really? “The Baltimore Remix of Soulja Girl” and “How Can You Slap (A Millie Remix)” didn’t make this list…


    *agrees with Mazzarell Sharptie-Sharp*

    • Sookie June 5, 2009 at 7:18 pm #

      I agree. Its funny that I havent seen one of Mollys examples before.


      • Molly June 5, 2009 at 7:21 pm #

        somebody is missing the POINT

  4. Molly June 5, 2009 at 6:05 pm #

    How can you slap is linked to, but yours are just hilario remixes. I feel like we have to do a special entry on those. Including this one:

    • Drewpreme June 5, 2009 at 6:25 pm #

      Duly noted.

      I do love that Good Day Sir! joint…

    • Marc June 5, 2009 at 8:57 pm #

  5. Drewpreme June 10, 2009 at 4:00 pm #

    Then there is this venerable classic…

    • Molly June 10, 2009 at 9:37 pm #


  6. Meg July 8, 2009 at 12:45 am #

    Oh thank god. I always knew there must be a reason why THIS existed.


  1. Antelope v. Reindeer « Claire & Molly’s World Wide Weblog - July 8, 2011

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