THE GREAT DEBATE: KATE V. JULIET

24 Apr

vs In all matters of opinion, our adversaries are insane.

— Oscar Wilde

Today, the gloves come off. The Mighty Drewpreme and I agree on many things (higher education, Ralph Lauren clothing, a cheesesteak a day to keep the doctor away, how there’s never a bad time to start rapping in public), but when it comes to the women of LOST, it’s WAR!!!! We are, however, gentlemen and scholars, and shall debate this season-old predicament with strict adherence to the Reserved Debate Board Rules of the Christian Apologetics and Research Ministry. They are as follows:

Topic must be posted and agreed upon along with debate room reserved.
200 word limit.
TOPIC: Who is the better Lady of LOST, Kate or Juliet?

Debater 1: Drew, arguing for Juliet
Debater 2: Molly, arguing for Kate

Opening
Debater 1 makes opening statement.  Debater 2 responds.
Debater 2 makes “second” opening statement. Debater 1 responds.
Cross Examination
Debater 2 asks 1 question.  Debater 1 responds.
Debater 1 asks 1 question.   Debater 2 responds.
Concluding remarks from both sides
Debater 2 makes closing statement
Debater 1 makes closing statement

GENTLEMEN, START YOUR ENGINES!!!!

DEBATER 1 OPENING STATEMENT
Drew: First, I would like to extend a hearty greeting to the esteemed hosts of this blog, its dedicated readers, and to the entire “INTERNETS! INTERNETS! INTERNETS!” as my ace on the Web Dallas Penn would say. I am here to discuss and defend on Dr. Juliet Burke, who is often compared against one Kate Austin on the television show “LOST”. As the two top female characters on this epic series, there is going to be discussion, however I find that I am in the vast minority that believes in Dr. Burke while the rest of TV Land goes completely goofy for “Ole Freckles”. I am here to completely destroy the majority position that some how Kate “Freckles” Austin is laughably a better character or person.

DEBATER 2 RESPONSE
Molly:
Sigh. Drew, do you realize you didn’t say ANYTHING about why Juliet is better in your opener? Alright, I’m wasting words. First of all, as I scoured the LOST (always capitalized) message boards in preparation for this debate, it turns out you are NOT (for once) in the minority. Oddly, it seems that most enthusiasts of the show prefer Dr. Juliet to Kate. I’d say the breakdown is about 68/32. For those of you who aren’t familiar with the show or the characters, allow me to summarize. Kate is the OG leading lady, caught in a love triangle between two very different men. She’s gorgeous and brunette and freckly, and has a lot to figure out about life and love. Dr. Juliet Burke comes on the scene in the third season, is blonde and freaky-looking, and the survivors aren’t sure which side she’s on. Alright, now for my opener.

DEBATER 2 OPENER
Molly:
I’m here to defend one (1) Katherine Anne “Kate” Austin, a survivor of Oceanic Flight 815 and original island darling, until rudely upstaged by Dr. Burke. I will argue that Kate is the better character, all-around. She has the brains (on the very first ep, she performed surgery with no medical background), the beauty (MUCH hotter than Juliet in all areas other than chest size), the brawn (survived in the wild whereas Juliet had a comfy house), and the background (hello! she’s blue collar and a fugitive. That’s so much cooler than an white labcoat-collared OB/GYN). Yes, she is fickle when it comes to men and she has been “running to stand still” most of her life, but no one’s perfect (see: Mazall) and Kate doesn’t try to be. Your doctor, on the other hand, reminds me of some fembot from the Stepford Wives.

DEBATER 1 RESPONSE
Drew:
Kate has the brains? Hilarity is currently ensuing. Damn shame that the smartest thing she’s ever done was on the first episode. She’s gone downhill ever since. All she’s been good for is losing guns to The Others and covering up her foibles by giving up the nookie. She’s totally useless, makes rash, emotional decisions, what survival skills does she really possess? Juliet brings an amazing skill set to the whole scene. Besides her well-noted medical ability, Juliet is tuned into The Island, knows where supplies can be had, and that knowledge is key when the whole point is TRYING TO SURVIVE. Her calm, icy demeanor is the kind of person I need around when you’re in a world of sh*t. Not some trailer park scallywag who never does the right thing, and has more “oops” moments than unprotected epileptic sex. Plus don’t get it twisted; Juliet is WAY hotter than Kate…

DEBATER 2 QUESTION
Molly:
Dear Drew. In one season alone, Juliet holds Jack hostage, tries to get him to kill Ben, infiltrates their camp, lies to everyone, spills Sun’s preggers news and blinks WAY too much. She is definitely an Other, and she was voted “most chilling villian”. She keeps divulging information that was hidden, and still cannot completely be trusted. TO THIS DAY. So I must ask, who would you rather have covering you as you creep through the forest trying not to awaken the smoke monster…shady Juliet, who has a medical degree but also might kill you, or true blue Kate, who has great arms and the group’s interests at heart?

DEBATER 1 RESPONSE
Drew:
I think she can be trusted because she doesn’t just throw out her trust all willy-nilly like SOME people just so they can get all butthurt in the end. Juliet has been wanting off this island since she came off the sub, and is willing to do what she has to do to get it. If I was stuck on that rock, I’m of the same mindset so I think she’s more than a worthy ally and, other than Sayid, the most resourceful person there. I don’t even think she’s a villain, and even if she is, sometimes you gotta make moves with people you don’t like to get the job done. Jack as a “hostage” was an excellent power play by Dr. Burke because real gangsters delegate out their dirty work, and she almost had that done. You don’t think she’ll get Sawyer to do some illmatic sh*t at some point? JB is Don status. Just you wait.

DEBATER 1 QUESTION
Drew: Speaking of killing Ben, why does Kate always louse everything up? Seriously they know Ben is the bane of all of their existence yet she gets all self-righteous and wants to save young Ben against everyone’s wishes. Why does her moral compass always show up at the most inopportune times?

DEBATER 2 RESPONSE
Molly:
Well, the specific answer is that Kate knows Ben will become “evil,” but he hasn’t yet. He is still a child, albeit a mini-Hitler. And as they said, it’s wrong to let any child die, regardless of what they might grow up to be. That’s playing God, and that’s what Jules may do, not Kate. She doesn’t pretend to have a high moral authority on anything; she just knows what is wrong. She saw an alcoholic beat her mom and torched him; she ran after Michael to help him find Walt and got kidnapped; she followed Sawyer’s wishes before he bailed on the copter; she made sure Aaron would be taken care of — ALL of it to her detriment. But it’s also a testament to how much she values the parent-child bond, even though she is not a mother (yet…). So it’s not an inopportune moral compass. It’s life handing Kate lemons and her refusing to be stalled. As for you, typical “Other Woman” scenario (pun). Men get bored after a few seasons and the loyal, vulnerable, sexy girl pales in comparison to the Island’s new blonde whacko. So be it. May a Polar Bear eat your face.

CONCLUDING REMARKS, DEBATER 2
Molly:
So, what have we shown, besides the fact that Drew and I are huge, Island-sized dorks? I conclude with this: Kate has the three F’s that I think make her the leading lady.
1. FRECKLES. A sure sign of innocence. Okay, but really, Kate’s face can melt even the coldest heart, while Juliet is reduced to rapid-fire blinking, creepy blue eyes, and a blank robo-stare. When she does show emotion, she always looks constipated and/or concerned. Always looking concerned = FAKE
2. Kate’s a FUGATIVE. THAT is flippin’ gangsta, Drew. And why was she a woman on the run? Because she loved her Mom more than Mom loved herself. Sniff. Kate may not take care of herself well, but there is NO ONE on the island whose loyalty I would question less.
2. Kate was FIRST. She alone captured our hearts for two seasons as a survivor and there is no doubt that Kate is good (Juliet could still be revealed as some minion of Ben’s). We experienced a lot through Kate, and then some stupid producer decided it was time for a new chick because, well, c’est la vie. But you never forget your first love.

CONCLUDING REMARKS, DEBATER 1
Drew:
In conclusion, you have not made Kate anymore endearing to me. In fact, your points ring hollow like Kate herself. You need women of substance in the world. Women that add on to the cipher, not just Dharma Ranch Dressing being guzzled by Hugo Hurley. Dr. Juliet Burke is that woman. She’s an educated professional, she busts her gun, not just gets it taken away. She’s down to scrap, and down to survive by her wits and her talents. Not by just hoping some fool will fall for her doe-eyed smirk. Kate is about as deep as a dinner plate and her lather, rinse, and repeat chicanery is becoming very threadbare in the fabric of LOST. She also suffers from “Cuba Gooding Syndrome” where they express all their emotions with the same face. Juliet is a complex and engaging woman whose character shows great range and depth. I am truly intrigued by what her ultimate end game is, and if she is conning all of us, than the artful craftsmanship of her rouse is beautiful even if it does lead to one’s demise. Point blank, Juliet Burke, M.D., rules, and takes a steaming dump on Freckles Austin.

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9 Responses to “THE GREAT DEBATE: KATE V. JULIET”

  1. Drewpreme April 27, 2009 at 5:12 pm #

    JULIET RUNS THIS (THING) SON!

  2. Drewpreme April 30, 2009 at 1:18 pm #

    So Molly, bring your arse in here and defend your girl (if you saw last night’s episode.)

    Kate is the harbinger of death, she’s the Gilligan on the island, and is intent on letting her ignorance and emotion bring everyone down… If I’m lyin’, I’m dyin’.

  3. Molly April 30, 2009 at 1:19 pm #

    I DIDN’T SEE IT YET DON’T SAY ANYTHING! EARMUFFS!

  4. Drewpreme April 30, 2009 at 1:57 pm #

    Hop to it Mollingford. Then we shall talk.

  5. Kate May 1, 2009 at 8:01 pm #

    I really don’t see how there is any debate on this.

  6. maureen May 3, 2009 at 6:30 am #

    PLEASE! Kate is and always will be the leading lady on LOST! She was there from the beginning….she was brought there for a purpose…and at the end of the show….all will fall into place. Juliet….something is not quite right with the lady….she appears to want to do the right thing but there something bubbling right below the surface…..I keep waiting for the evil laugh and the rubbing together of the hands…and trust me that WILL happen.

    Kate has showed her compassion, her inner strength and has “come into herself”since crashing on the island. She does what she does from love and from her tendency to want to protect those who can’t help themselves….her mom….Aaron. Don’t hold it against her that she can’t seem to make up her mind whether it is Jack or Sawyer she wants to be with…..what sane woman could possibly choose one over the other? Come on take a look at these two guys….they are gutsy, smart (each in their own way) and good God, they are good looking….but what is meant for Kate will not pass her by….and Juliet will eventually show her true colors….which won’t be nice!!!

    • Drewpreme May 12, 2009 at 6:01 pm #

      Yeah… Um Kate is the harbinger of death. And in the last episode she’s developing a laundry list of people that are getting tired of her frack ups.

      Sayid – “Don’t worry I killed Ben Linus”
      Jack – “Well… Um…”
      Sayid – “What do you mean?”
      Jack – (looks at Kate) “She saved him”
      Sayid – (KILLER GLARE)

      Kate is a waste of camera time.

  7. Claire November 16, 2009 at 5:34 pm #

    Ok, I now know who Juliet is. Juliet is way prettier, but she’s also older. I think she still comes out on top though. (TWSS)

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