Diversity Training with Drewpreme

26 Mar
Classy and Sassy

Classy and Sassy

In order to keep Drew off the streets, we like to invite him to our apartment in Harlem. Mainly, we get “schooled” on keeping it real. Drew offers a wealth of knowledge and commentary that helps us become well-rounded people, like “Just because Ghostface says it doesn’t mean you can” or “What’s up with your shoes?” Plus, when we wear big sunglasses, people think he is our bodyguard. Fame! Anyway, Drew will be guest DJ-ing this Saturday night at Cafe 50 West with “his man” Jay-Cee. Obviously, we will be there, but more importantly, I have song requests. And in my never-ending quest to completely outsource this blog, I’m asking Drew for an analysis of my selections. What do these songs say about me, a pensive and introspective white girl?

My requests:

Baby Love by the Supremes. This has been in my head for a while.
Friends in Low Places by Garth Brooks. Even Gangsters love this song, right?
For Once In My Life by Stevie Wonder.
American Boy by Estelle ft. Kanye West. PLEASE I can’t help it. I love it, plus you can do that “I’m dancing but not really dancing just twisting my hips and being nonchalant” dance to it.
Bossy by Kelis. Am I lame for still REALLY liking this song?
I Wanna Dance with Somebody by Whitney Houston. best. song. ever.
Single Ladies by Beyonce, clearly. But before you dismiss me as a top 40 parasite, this is mainly so I can see Mazall do the dance.

(Drew has also ranked the likelihood that he will play these songs, on a scale from one to 10. One being “I will lose all the black street cred I have if I play this in front of anyone besides you” and 10 being “you’re pretty fly for a white girl.” )

The Drewnalysis, after the jump

“Baby Love” by The Supremes – This is not actually a party rocker, unless we’re at a bridal shower or Bristol Palin’s 18th birthday party. However, if I got into a Motown mood I could work this into the rotation. This would definitely have to go over later in the night when everyone is in “Throughly Inebriated Sing-A-Long To Everything” mode. Which is fun, but also really irksome because chicks start coming over and acting like you’re a human iPod or jukebox with their requests. The Preme HATES requests. (Molly’s note: WHOOPS!)
Chance of being played… 5/10

“Friends In Low Places” by Garth Brooks – Is this “Now I got friends in looooow places, where the whisky is something at the Oasis?” Didn’t someone else do this song? Hope this is the song you’re talking about. I only know this from being the lone Negroe in Winston-Salem in a Darts league. Man those were some grim days. Really, what effin’ soing is this? I’m headed to You Tube!
Chances of being played… Slim to None = 1/10
(It would take some “convincing” which would violate our platonic bond, Mollingford. NEXT!!!!)

“For Once In My Life” by Stevie Wonder
– This is a special song to me. I’ve considered using the lyrics to this song as my wedding vows. This song will make an appearance at my wedding. I have the mental image of me singing this to the future Mrs. ‘Preme while getting it down on the dance floor with a bottle of Cristal in the air a la Poof Daddy. Honestly, I get choked up singing this song. Great call Molly. Totally would get played and if you were a cutie (Molly’s note: IF?) and you requested this whilst I was spinning I’d totally have to get your math and proceed further with such potential.
Chances of being played… 9.8/10.
The only thing that would derail me playing this is that some ex-heifer walked in the spot and it would send Kerryesque “mixed messages” like I still dig the harlot.

“American Boy” by Estelle & Kanye West – First of all did I ever tell you that my mother is convinced he’s ghey? This is almost like standard listening at any party so if you requested this I’d be a little disappointed because it shows that either you’re not paying attention to WTF is going on, or you’re just more limited than a Broadway express bus. It’s a fun record though, so I’d get over that hangup pretty quickly and throw it on as long as it fits with the rotation. Can’t be effin’ up my groove, but I’d oblige you. Chances of being played… 8/10

“Bossy” by Kelis Rogers-Jones
– Did I ever tell you the time I tried to kick it to her? Great woman. Great song. Reminds me of going to the MAGIC Convention in Las Vegas a few years back with the Mighty Healthy crew. This song was getting run and I kept singing it sarcastically. Eventually the joke caught on and “bossy” became the slang word of the trip for anything good or fresh. For example, “The fried shrimp at the Mandalay Bay buffet are so bossy.” It didn’t survive the red-eye flight back to NYC though. This is a record I haven’t thought about in a while and would be impressed if requested. Great call!
Chances of being played… 8/10

“I Wanna Dance With Somebody” by Whitney Houston
– Or as I like to call her “Whitty Hutton” (see “Martin”). OK, this is a funny request. I would also put this in the “Throughly Inebriated Sing-A-Long To Everything” mode. Not the worst-requested record but I’m calling Wisconsin because this is some cheese-eating sh*t. Whitney has better songs than this. But again, I don’t think I’ve ever played a Whitty Hutton song at a party. This is not “street cred” destroying but unless I’m at your frickin’ cotillion and you’re dancing with Unkie Pop-Pop (too black of a name?) this probably will not see the turntables
Chances of getting played… 4/10

“Single Ladies” by Beyonce Knowles-Carter – EGAD! That crack you just heard was my orbital bone shattering from the eyeroll. I’m not a Beyonce fan, and I hate these anthems that rile up you ladies to put all these parameters on a man who’s trying to get a little tang and maybe take you to the diner for breffiss in the morning. Seriously nothing is more derailing than you kicking the scientificals to a fresh dame and then this record comes on. They should rename this song “Why He’s No Longer In To You”. Alas, it’s a party staple at this point but the reflection I’d have of the chick requesting it (unless she dumped her dude right there or her divorce was just finalized) isn’t a positive one. So groan, HRUMPH, exasperated breath, I’ll cue it up.
Chances of being played… a begrudging 5/10

Hope this helps you and guides your musical choices when out hobnobbing and harassing the DJ. In all seriousness, people need to learn to respect the DJ and what he does. You don’t yell out requests to a band (Molly’s note: Drew has obviously never been to a DMB concert) or badger the drummer to “hear your jam” so please stay away from asking me to play “My Humps”. This advice will carry you far in life, or at least thru this Saturday night.


6 Responses to “Diversity Training with Drewpreme”

  1. Sookie March 26, 2009 at 8:34 pm #

    The lesson as always: Pander to Molly and then do what you want to do. Its better for everyone (espesh Molly’s cred)

  2. Drewpreme March 26, 2009 at 10:24 pm #

    “Just because Ghostface says it, doesn’t mean you can”

    Now that’s a pearl of wisdom.

  3. Molly March 26, 2009 at 10:26 pm #

    so wise.

  4. Unkie Herb March 27, 2009 at 3:25 pm #

    Long distance request for “Footloose”. Negroes dancing like Whities = good race relations. Heal the world…one dance-off at a time.

  5. Molly March 27, 2009 at 3:41 pm #

    Drew, you have officially garnered the most hits of all our posts so far. Sigh. I should have done the blog with you instead of Claire…

  6. Drewpreme March 27, 2009 at 7:29 pm #

    Its like a good guest appearance/cameo. Not like Lil Wang who appears on everything. More like a good Andre3000 verse or Busta in the 90’s… I bring ’em out, bring ’em out. Also it will be hard to yell with a barrel in your mouth…

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