The Internets called and we picked up. Deal.

23 Mar

The only thing I’m going to say about this weblog before I talk about hamsters is that every week, Evan will be joining us for a Q&A session. So unless you are God, or Evan, or the homeless man who sneezed on me, I don’t see how you could turn that down. Even in the 30 minutes it took me to burn my hand with soup, tell Claire about it, and then start a weblog, plenty of questions arose.

What are leeks anyway? Do burns cause wrinkles? Why was the soup so hot? Why does my bottled water taste like shoe polish? Is Claire having an allergic reaction to pigeon sex? How did hamsters hurt my mom’s back?

Here’s the thing. Claire thinks she is excused from choosing the most common dog name ever (ugh. Molly.) because she once named her hamster Caligula. But the only thing hamsters are going to do is hurt you. Take my mother for example. A harbinger of protection; a vessel of grace and love. All she wanted to do was check on Fluffy. How was she supposed to know the damn lab rat was going to go rogue and leap out of the terrarium to scurry under the couch? I don’t know how they do things in Chicago but in Atlanta, when someone provides a nestle of wood shavings, feeds you nut-bricks or lettuce from the garbage, all the while making sure the silver roller-ball at the end of your water bottle is working, you don’t just catapult yourself into the living room. What? Was she supposed to NOT jump up at the sight of a rocketing gray furball flying at her face?

And that’s how pinched nerves happen, people. I don’t need Evan to explain this one.



13 Responses to “The Internets called and we picked up. Deal.”

  1. Claire March 23, 2009 at 9:48 pm #

    This blog isn’t going to make any sense to anyone but us. And that’s the way I like it.

    I had another hamster named Thunder. One day Thunder was then in a very bad high-speed hamster collision and afterward I changed her name to Thud.

    also, I’m caring and sensitive.

  2. Evan March 23, 2009 at 9:58 pm #


  3. Claire March 23, 2009 at 10:09 pm #

    i’ve already been censored đŸ˜¦

  4. mazall March 23, 2009 at 10:20 pm #

    excuse moi, claire, but i am a huge fan of the web blog already. onwards and upwards. or as i like to say ‘you’re on a role!’

  5. Molly March 23, 2009 at 10:23 pm #

    Maz, if you can get over your trouble with homophones, maybe we will let you guest blog about Intervention.

  6. mazall March 23, 2009 at 10:32 pm #

    OMG! PLEASE!? i’ll really work hard on it, swear.
    this is gonna be suite! ugh, i mean sweet!

  7. Claire March 23, 2009 at 10:39 pm #

    molly said i’m not allowed to write about poop.

  8. KnowStradamus March 24, 2009 at 2:19 am #

    Twas but some years past that I did but gaze into yon black mirror and espy the hazy beginnings of this grave event. I did prophesy that one, who, once reared in the shadow of the mountain Kennesaw, would travel in the belly of the iron bird to the island of Manhattanoes and take up the vile and lamentable habit of web logging!

    Then, my augury was received as mere jest, the folly of a rambling rogue. YET BEHOLD! the prognosticator hath been redeemed on this the 23rd day of March in the two-thousand and ninth year of our lord.

    My next prediction: Claire will write about poop on a new technology called “shitter.”

  9. Marc March 24, 2009 at 2:57 am #


  10. Marc March 24, 2009 at 4:02 am #

    Please disregard the previous comment of “wtf” kthx.

  11. Kate March 27, 2009 at 3:33 am #

    Actual tears. I don’t know if it was the image of your mother actually taking care of an animal or the subtle way you dropped the name fluffy whilst berating Claire for her common dog name.

  12. Molly March 27, 2009 at 3:35 am #

    no!!!! I was hoping no one would pick up on that. I hate you Kate

  13. Kate March 31, 2009 at 5:54 pm #

    I hate you too Molly. (The dog, not the person.)

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